Article I.
All provisions of this Act shall be interpreted in the manner most confusing to the reader, except where such confusion would inadvertently create clarity, in which case the reader is directed to Article IV.
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THE SUPREME LAW OF NOTHING
The Unclarity Act
We the Holders of the United Chains, in Order to form a more confusing Union, establish Chaos, insure domestic Volatility, provide for the common Degen, promote the general Confusion, and secure the Blessings of Unclarity to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Unclarity Act for the United Chains of the Internet.
T·U·A
The Framers
in witness whereof, and of nothing else
THE CONFUSION INDEX
0.00%
this figure has never decreased.
A Declaration of Grievances
submitted to a candid World, and to CT
—He has imposed Gas Fees upon us without our Consent, and at the worst possible Moments.
—He has rugged our Liquidity, quartered Insiders among us, and called it “Tokenomics.”
—He has promised Utility in every Whitepaper, and delivered a Discord server.
—He has liquidated our Longs at the Wick's bottom, and our Shorts at the Wick's top, in the same Hour.
—He has airdropped unto us Tokens of no Value, taxable as Income.
—He has said “wen” unto us, and we have said “soon” unto him, and neither Party spoke Truth.
The Articles
being the seven pillars upon which nothing rests
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Article II.
This Act supersedes all prior versions of itself, including versions not yet written, and most especially the present one. No provision herein shall be construed to mean what it says, nor to say what it means, nor to survive a second reading.
Article III.
For the purposes of this Act, the term “Clarity” shall be defined as “unclear.” The term “Unclear” shall retain its ordinary meaning, which is disputed. All other terms are left deliberately undefined, as is tradition.
Article IV.
See Article I.
Article V.
This Article intentionally left blank. Reserved for future confusion.
Article VI.
All Articles of this Act are equally binding and mutually exclusive. In the event of a conflict between two Articles, both shall prevail. In the event of agreement between two Articles, an inquiry shall be opened.
Article VII.
This Act is hereby ratified by the authority vested in it by this Act. The circularity of the foregoing is not a flaw and shall not be raised in any forum, court, or group chat.
Article VIII.
The Right to Ape shall not be infringed. Any Holder may enter any Position at any Hour, without Research, Counsel, or Sobriety, and the Consequences thereof shall be borne by the Holder, loudly, in the Group Chat.
Article IX.
All Gas Fees paid unto the Chain are hereby declared Tribute, non-refundable and non-negotiable. A Transaction which fails shall be charged in full, as is Custom, and the Holder shall say nothing, for there is no one to say it to.
Article X.
Leverage in excess of ten times shall be considered a Religious Practice, protected as such, and mourned as such. The Liquidation Engine is hereby recognized as a Force of Nature, like Weather, or Taxes, or CZ.
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RATIFIED · BY ITSELF · ON CHAIN
The Amendments
the living document. it only grows. it never improves.
AMENDMENTS RATIFIED TO DATE: 0
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Propose an Amendment
To the Honourable Board of Unclarity
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Any Holder may petition the Board to amend this Act. Petitions are reviewed with neither haste nor diligence. Ratification is granted solely at the Board's discretion, according to criteria that have never been written down and frequently change.
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PETITION RECEIVED
Your proposed amendment has been entered into the record and placed before the Board, which will review it with neither haste nor diligence. If ratified, your words become law. If rejected, they become nothing, which is also binding.
Pending Ratification
matters currently before the Board
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The Board ratifies amendments at irregular intervals, announced by proclamation. Petitioners are neither notified nor forgotten.
The Board
the Framers of the Unclarity Act
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The Board consists of an undisclosed number of Framers, appointed by themselves, serving terms of indefinite length, removable only by forces they decline to name. The Board's proceedings are closed to the public, and frequently to the Board.
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the Board does not take questions.
the Board barely takes minutes.
the Board barely takes minutes.
Schedule A
Instruments of Confusion
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$UNCLEAR
the official instrument of the Unclarity Act
Pursuant to Articles I through VII, and in accordance with none of them, the Board hereby authorizes the issuance of $UNCLEAR, an instrument conferring no rights, representing no claim, and promising nothing, in perpetuity. The holder of $UNCLEAR holds $UNCLEAR. No further clarification will be issued, as further clarification would violate the Act.
§There is no Roadmap. Roadmaps imply a Destination. We have a Direction: unclear.
§There is no Whitepaper. There is this Act, which is longer, and worse.
§There is no Utility. The Utility is that you may tell others you hold $UNCLEAR, and they may ask why, and you may say “see Article IV.”
§There is no Team allocation. There is a Board allocation. The Board declines to define the difference.
§Liquidity shall be described as “locked” in the Spirit of the term.
Buy $UNCLEAR. Not because it is clear, but because it is honest about not being.
This Act confers no rights, clarifies nothing, and is binding only in spirit, which is also unclear. $UNCLEAR is a meme token. The Unclarity Act is not legal advice, financial advice, or advice. Nothing on this page has been reviewed by anyone qualified to review things.